An illustration of a monkey tapping at a typewriter.

The Typist

MAN: Yes, that’s right, the complete works. No, that’s the thing. We want it typed out again. All of it. Word by word. Remember, no mistakes. You get to the end of King Lear, muck it up, you’ll have to start all over again. Control C? Control V? That would be cheating wouldn’t it? Anyway, we like to do things the old fashioned way here. That’s right, typewriters. Plagiarism? Ha! It’s Shakespeare! Hardly The Beatles is it? So anyway, this is your cubicle here. One other thing, do you have any samples of your work? No, that’s good. We’re looking for inexperienced monkeys. English? Won’t need it. Alright, I think you're all set. Just tap away at the keys however you like. Yes, that’s it. Make noise. Hit it with your feet. Do whatever you feel like basically. What’s that? Duration? We will require your services on an ongoing basis. Hourly rate? I’m afraid not. Bananas? Yes.


Leave a Reply