EXT. CITY PARK – DUSK [A FATHER sits with his young son, MATTHEW, on a bench in a park watching the sun go down over the horizon.] FATHER: Matthew, it’s time we had the talk. You see son, in nature … MATTHEW: I’m twelve dad. Don’t you think it’s a bit late? I know about
INT. ARTIST’S STUDIO – DAY [Knock at the door. A young woman (an ARTIST) opens the door to see a young man (a MODEL). The artist ushers him inside.] MODEL: Where do you want me? ARTIST: [She gestures for the model to take his place on the sofa on one side of the studio.] Just over there, thanks. [The artist sets
EXT. CHURCH ENTRANCE, SOMEWHERE IN EUROPE – DAY [A LONE TOURIST, A MAN, STANDS WAITING ON A STREET CORNER AT THE ENTRANCE OF A CHURCH WITH A LARGE MAP IN HIS HANDS, APPARENTLY LOST. AFTER A SHORT WHILE, A WOMAN APPROACHES HIM WITH A CAMERA IN HAND.] WOMAN: Excuse me? MAN: Sure, I’ll take your picture.
INT. APARTMENT, KITCHEN – DAY LUCY: Martin, coming rowing tomorrow? MICK: I can’t. Tennis elbow. [ZOOM IN ON AN ANGRY FACE ON MARTIN’S ELBOW.] ELBOW: Oy! What did I tell you about wasting time chatting? Get back on the court you bum! Ten thousand balls a day! You know the drill! You wanna be the
INT. TELEVISION STUDIO. [The television show HOST sits with a microphone beside ROBERT, a rather nondescript looking man dressed in nondescript clothes, sitting on a nondescript chair. A live audience looks on.] HOST: Robert, you claim to be able to use one hundred percent of your brain is this correct? ROBERT: Yes, that is correct sir.
WOMAN 1: What would you like? WOMAN 2: Money, fame, my cellulite to be magically zapped into oblivion, a walk in wardrobe filled with shoes… No! A whole house… No! A mansion! Filled with shoes… and a man, yes, a gorgeous hunk of a man who just completes me, you know? Like, I could look
[A MAN and a WOMAN are sitting up very straight and proper at the furthest ends of a large dining table. In the middle of the table are the usual condiments but well out of reach of both.] MAN: Pass me the… [He blanks out.] WOMAN: Salt or pepper? MAN: Sepper? [He instantly slaps his
[An old grizzled FARMER drives his tractor along a dusty long road with tears welling up in his eyes. By his side in the front of the tractor is a very large pig, BETTY, struggling to cling onto life.] FARMER: Nearly there Betty! Nearly there! BETTY: Oink! FARMER: Just hold on Betty! BETTY: Oink! FARMER:
[A young TEENAGE BOY is standing underneath a hills-hoist Australian clothes line nervously about to undo a pair of knickers from the line. A middle-aged man appears from on the balcony of the household.] MAN: Oy! What are you doin’!? [The teenager freezes, like a deer caught in the headlights.] TEENAGE BOY: Nothing. Um… I’m
[A man, BARRY, in full English medieval attire and a crossbow slung across his back slowly approaches another MAN sat atop a small hill, dressed likewise, but with one shoe pulled off, and kneading his bare foot gently in his hands.] BARRY: Hail soldier! What ails thee? MAN: Shut up Barry. The reenactment’s over. BARRY: