James hated nail polish. The smell was like an invisible fist that divided in two, reached in through his nostrils, and simultaneously punched him in both hemispheres of the brain. Given the choice, he would rather sniff textas or wasabi, he often thought, at least wasabi had tang, but not nail polish. Never nail polish.
It had been a difficult year, what with the divorce, losing half the house, half the kids, not to mention half the company (therefore). Simon had half a mind left to take his ex-wife back to court, but then he knew he might just lose everything. Anyway, not all was lost. Rather conveniently, Simon’s mother
EXT. CHURCH ENTRANCE, SOMEWHERE IN EUROPE – DAY [A LONE TOURIST, A MAN, STANDS WAITING ON A STREET CORNER AT THE ENTRANCE OF A CHURCH WITH A LARGE MAP IN HIS HANDS, APPARENTLY LOST. AFTER A SHORT WHILE, A WOMAN APPROACHES HIM WITH A CAMERA IN HAND.] WOMAN: Excuse me? MAN: Sure, I’ll take your picture.
INT. APARTMENT, KITCHEN – DAY LUCY: Martin, coming rowing tomorrow? MICK: I can’t. Tennis elbow. [ZOOM IN ON AN ANGRY FACE ON MARTIN’S ELBOW.] ELBOW: Oy! What did I tell you about wasting time chatting? Get back on the court you bum! Ten thousand balls a day! You know the drill! You wanna be the
INT. DAY – URBAN “CAREER CENTRE” [A CAREER GUIDANCE COUNSELLOR SITS BEHIND A SMALL DESK AND A COMPUTER. ON THE OTHER SIDE SITS A MIDDLE-AGED BEARDED LEONARD DA VINCI.] COUNSELLOR: So, Leonardo, can I call you Leo? What kind of job do you think you might be well-suited for? DA VINCI: I do quite like biology,
WOMAN 1: What would you like? WOMAN 2: Money, fame, my cellulite to be magically zapped into oblivion, a walk in wardrobe filled with shoes… No! A whole house… No! A mansion! Filled with shoes… and a man, yes, a gorgeous hunk of a man who just completes me, you know? Like, I could look
[A MAN and a WOMAN are sitting up very straight and proper at the furthest ends of a large dining table. In the middle of the table are the usual condiments but well out of reach of both.] MAN: Pass me the… [He blanks out.] WOMAN: Salt or pepper? MAN: Sepper? [He instantly slaps his
He woke up with the most horrendous headache. For a short while Clive thought that was all that was wrong. He made his coffee, ate his breakfast, but it wasn’t until he went to wash his face that he saw in the mirror that something had been written in thick black marker on his forehead