Tag: absurd

Tag: absurd

An illustration of the Egyptian goddess Bastet.

Tinkers (And The Giant Slide)

INT. EGYPTIAN PALACE – DAY [A PHARAOH paces in his palace room nervously. The sound of horns. The massive doors to the room open. Two small cats enter flanking TINKERS, a gigantic two legged hominoid cat woman twice the size of the pharaoh. Seeing Tinkers, the pharaoh promptly drops to his knees and prostrates himself on the

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Tag: absurd

Tag: absurd

Illustration of a man holding a camera in front of his face.

How Could You Be So Selfieless?

EXT. CHURCH ENTRANCE, SOMEWHERE IN EUROPE – DAY [A LONE TOURIST, A MAN, STANDS WAITING ON A STREET CORNER AT THE ENTRANCE OF A CHURCH WITH A LARGE MAP IN HIS HANDS, APPARENTLY LOST. AFTER A SHORT WHILE, A WOMAN APPROACHES HIM WITH A CAMERA IN HAND.] WOMAN: Excuse me? MAN: Sure, I’ll take your picture.

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Tag: absurd

Tag: absurd

tenniselbow - Tennis Elbow

Tennis Elbow

INT. APARTMENT, KITCHEN – DAY LUCY: Martin, coming rowing tomorrow? MICK: I can’t. Tennis elbow. [ZOOM IN ON AN ANGRY FACE ON MARTIN’S ELBOW.] ELBOW: Oy! What did I tell you about wasting time chatting? Get back on the court you bum! Ten thousand balls a day! You know the drill! You wanna be the

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Tag: absurd

An illustration of Leonardo da Vinci.

Da Vinci At The Career Centre

INT. DAY – URBAN “CAREER CENTRE” [A CAREER GUIDANCE COUNSELLOR SITS BEHIND A SMALL DESK AND A COMPUTER. ON THE OTHER SIDE SITS A MIDDLE-AGED BEARDED LEONARD DA VINCI.] COUNSELLOR: So, Leonardo, can I call you Leo? What kind of job do you think you might be well-suited for? DA VINCI: I do quite like biology,

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Tag: absurd

Tag: absurd

An illustration of a human brain.

One Hundred Percent

INT. TELEVISION STUDIO. [The television show HOST sits with a microphone beside ROBERT, a rather nondescript looking man dressed in nondescript clothes, sitting on a nondescript chair. A live audience looks on.] HOST: Robert, you claim to be able to use one hundred percent of your brain is this correct? ROBERT: Yes, that is correct sir.

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Tag: absurd

telephone2 - Telephone?

Telephone?

[A MAN dressed in a suit and holding a briefcase, stands waiting, checking his watch from time to time on stage left. WOMAN enters stage right.] WOMAN: Telephone? MAN: For me? WOMAN: No, you have one? MAN: A telephone? WOMAN: Yes. MAN: No. WOMAN: Oh. [A long pregnant pause.] WOMAN: Why don’t you have a

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