An illustration of an origami crane.

How To Stop Kim

[A North Korean military officer marches down a long bright sterile-looking hallway, flanked by two lieutenants. They stop and come to ease at the open doorway of a small mostly bare room with only a small desk and a closet along one wall, to see Kim-Jong-Un sitting on the ground, amidst a pile of bright squares of paper and folded origami cranes, folding yet another to add to it. The officer takes a step into the room, followed by his two lieutenants.]

OFFICER: Supreme Commander, we are ready for the next nuclear test.
KIM JONG-UN [NOT LOOKING UP]: I’ve decided to make origami today.
OFFICER: Young master, everything is going to plan. We have the U.S. reeling. Today is the scheduled day.
KIM JONG-UN [SIGHS]: I don’t know. I’m just … bored, I guess.
OFFICER: But, when shall we launch the new ICBM?
KIM JONG-UN: Sometime soon, I guess. Maybe not, ever?
OFFICER: Great comrade, are you okay? You haven’t been reading the international press have you? You must pay no attention to them. Your people love you. Dennis Rodman loves you. We are ready for phase two.

[NO REPLY.]

OFFICER: You seemed so excited about the ICBM just yesterday?
KIM JONG-UN [STILL NOT LOOKING UP, CONCENTRATING HARD ON THE CRANE]: I’m fine. I’ve just changed my mind is all. Something has come up. Look, I just need to make these cranes, alright?
OFFICER: [TENTATIVELY] Why?
KIM JONG-UN [HE FINALLY LOOKS UP. HIS FACE IS AS BRIGHT RED AS HIS FINGERS. IT ALMOST SEEMS HE’S BEEN CRYING]: Because the supreme commander commands it! I want to make origami cranes today, not launch a nuclear missile, alright? I just don’t feel like it!
OFFICER [TAKING OFF HIS HAT, SWEATING]: Of course, your excellency. You are perfect, you are our beloved master, supreme wise person, our brilliant leader! The nuclear test shall be delayed, your excellency. We would never question your decisions, your excellency.

[NO REPLY. THE OFFICER LOOKS TO HIS TWO LIEUTENANTS WHO LOOK BACK AT HIM HELPLESSLY. HE PUTS HIS HAT BACK ON. TOGETHER THEY BACK OUT OF THE ROOM, PERFORM A SYNCHRONISED TURN, AND MARCH BACK DOWN THE LONG STERILE-LOOKING HALLWAY OUT OF SIGHT.]

[Back in the room, the closet door opens and the ghost of a young Japanese girl, the spitting image of Sadako Sasaki to be exact, steps out of the closet, with a pistol held at Kim Jong-Un, a wave of origami cranes spilling out onto the ground at her feet.]

SASAKI: Good, six hundred and sixty-four … Only three hundred and thirty-six to go. And then we’re going to watch a nice little documentary about Hiroshima, aren’t we?

[STILL NO ANSWER]

SASAKI: Aren’t we?
KIM JONG-UN [SNIFFLING, LOOKING UP]: Yes. Yes, we are.
[SASAKI GESTURES THE GUN AS IF THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH.]
KIM JONG-UN [EYES CAST DOWN]: Please?

[SASAKI GESTURES THE GUN AGAIN.]

KIM JONG-UN: Your loveliness?
SASAKI [SMILING]: That’s a good little Kimmy.

[KIM JONG-UN BREAKS INTO TEARS.]

[THE END.]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadako_Sasaki

 

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