James hated nail polish. The smell was like an invisible fist that divided in two, reached in through his nostrils, and simultaneously punched him in both hemispheres of the brain. Given the choice, he would rather sniff textas or wasabi, he often thought, at least wasabi had tang, but not nail polish. Never nail polish.
It had been a difficult year, what with the divorce, losing half the house, half the kids, not to mention half the company (therefore). Simon had half a mind left to take his ex-wife back to court, but then he knew he might just lose everything. Anyway, not all was lost. Rather conveniently, Simon’s mother
As a boy Dylan had always been fascinated by squirrels. As are most kids, really. Which is interesting in itself because a squirrel is closely related to a rat, the only real differences being a bushy tail and an obsession with nuts. Yet, you’ll be hard pressed to find a kid hugging a rat, the
The woman walked into the doctors office and took a seat. She was beautiful the young doctor thought, with long dark brown flowing hair, bright emerald green eyes, and an infectious smile. ‘I’m going to give you some antibiotics for that,’ he said. ‘Yes,’ the beautiful woman replied, her jaw visibly strained, saliva dripping from the corner of her
When Walter came home in the early hours of Sunday morning he found that his house keys had turned into a watermelon. How he had been walking around town all night with a watermelon in his pocket he would never know. But alas, that’s what it was — a watermelon — and now, there he was, standing
The only thing holding up his pants were a pair of bright turquoise suspenders. Perhaps, a son or a daughter, had bought them for him in the hope that they would make him look cool. They didn’t. Every second week on a Tuesday, the old man would come in to the same RSL, sit at
August 6th, 1962. Yesterday, Marilyn Monroe was found nude in bed, hand on phone; she had taken 40 pills, and she appeared at first to be quite out of it. When asked why she was nude Marilyn said she always sleeps nude, and asked, ‘Why have you broken into my hotel suite in the middle of the
He woke up with the most horrendous headache. For a short while Clive thought that was all that was wrong. He made his coffee, ate his breakfast, but it wasn’t until he went to wash his face that he saw in the mirror that something had been written in thick black marker on his forehead
This is a transcript taken from a lecture given by a penguin at Stanford University earlier this year. Unfortunately, although a video was made, it is now lost, suspected to have been stolen by a rogue albatross. TRANSCRIPT: Neuroscience. I know nothing about it. I’m a penguin after all. What am I doing here? I
In the pitch black of night, in the middle of the Atlantic, a ship is burning, sinking. The captain is trying to get everyone into lifeboats. There is an explosion. The last men in the last lifeboat yell out to the captain “Come on! We have room!” He turns his back. He’s made his decision.