Paddy, what are you doing? The police are on their way. You’re making a scene. Come on, let’s go home okay? The builders need to get back on the job. Mum always told me, never walk outside of a ladder. But Paddy, you’ve got it the wrong way round mate. Really? Yeah, you should never
Man: You can’t have your cake and eat it too. Woman: Yeah I can. Man: How? Woman: Eat half the cake. Man: Fair enough.
(Rob is rolling around on the welcome mat at the front door). Rob, what are you doing? I’m just so itchy!
MARCO POLO CHURCH CHOIR HUMMING GENTLY PRIEST: Julia, do you take this man Marco… CLIVE: Polo! WOMAN: Clive! We’re at a wedding. CLIVE: Sorry. PRIEST: Marco Williams to be your loyal husband. BRIDE: Yes. PRIEST: And Marco… CLIVE: Polo. WOMAN: Clive! Stop it! PRIEST: Marco… CLIVE: Polo. PRIEST: Do you take this lady to be
Father: Son, it’s time we had a little chat. Son: ‘Bout what dad? Father: Well, it’s just… you’re mother actually asked me to come over today, because she was a little worried about you. Son: Yeah? Father: You see… I’m not really sure how to put this, but… well, here goes… In nature there are
Boy: Mum, I’m bored. Mum: No, you’re not! Boy: Yes I am! Mum: You can do the washing. Boy: I’m not bored anymore.
It seems that Salvador Dali’s surreal stamp on the world might not be over yet. Just yesterday morning, a local tourist in the seaside Spanish island of Majorca claimed to spot Salvador Dali’s iconic moustache sun baking on the beach. The man, Pablo Hurrez, a highly respected resort manager, was reported as saying in a
1. Mentos 2. Turpentine 3. “Lint” 4. Chrysanthemum 5. “Random”
Who were the best classical composers of all time? It’s hard to say, because they’re all different, and in the end, music is a matter of personal taste. Literally. Here’s is a list of some of the most famous classical composers of all time and what they’re music tastes like to me: Claude Debussy: Shallot.
If Thomas Edison’s ghost were to be summoned to Earth from wherever he is joyously floating around in the inter dimensions of the universe and the heavens, what would he say? Probably something like this: “Hello? Hello? Is anybody there? What is this? Where am I? I was flying. FLYING I tell you! I don’t