Thar She Blows!

whaleweb2 - Thar She Blows!

May 2, 2017 • Comedy • Views: 184

EXT. WHALING SHIP OUT AT SEA – DAY

MAN: [VOICEOVER] After 365 days at sea, rations were running low. An eighth of a pint of rum and a pinch of bread had to suffice each morning, at least till we pulled into our next port. But no one could say when that would be. Much of the crew were growing restless. We had lost count of the days since we had last seen land.

SHIPMATE: [SHOUTING] Thar she blows! The leviathan!

[The door of the captain’s cabin swings open with a mighty slam against the outside wall and the captain steps out dressed in his regal coat and captain’s hat.]

CAPTAIN: All this time searching. Lord, is this the day we find the beast? [YELLING AT HIS SHIPMATE] Point me to her me lad!

SHIPMATE: [POINTING] Over stern cap’n!

[The crew gather excitedly as the captain hurries to stern and produces his periscope from his jacket pocket. After a moment searching the distant waves he spots the tail of a white whale flick up and out of the water. The crew can hardly contain themselves!]

CAPTAIN: Aha. Whale, yes. White, yes. Slight curve of the tail. Subtle black striped patterns along the lower back. Ah, no, no. The one I saw was slightly bigger. [HE SHUTS HIS PERISCOPE AND PUTS IT BACK INTO HIS JACKET BEFORE TURNING TO FACE HIS CREW] False alarm! Keep looking lads!

[The crew simultaneously sigh as the captain retreats to his cabin. Another weary one-legged old shipmate drinks straight from a bottle of rum.]

THE END.

Like this post? Check out the accompanying framed illustration (click the image below).

White whale mock-up.

White whale mock-up.

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