DOCTOR: Good news! The results are back. You can be immortal!
DOCTOR: Scientists have finally unlocked the secret of Turritopsis dohrnii, the immortal jellyfish. It never gets old. And now you can benefit from what scientists have learnt from this intriguing creature with little to no effort at all!
WOMAN: Imagine all the things I can do if I never die!
DOCTOR: It seems the only way the jellyfish can die is if disease strikes or they get snapped up by another fish. Amazing isn’t it?
WOMAN: Immortal, not invincible. Gotta start somewhere. When can I start? How much? How does it work? Pills? Surgery? Cash up front?
DOCTOR: [INJECTING WOMAN WITH SYRINGE] The bad news is that you have to become a floating blob of jelly. You see, they might never get old, but that’s because they instead revert to a sexually immature stage. Isn’t nature fascinating?
WOMAN: You’re going to turn me into a blob?
DOCTOR: Too late.
[WOMAN IS NOW A BLOB.]